The Smoke and Mirror that is no more

If you know how I used to look 4 years ago, you would definitely follow my grief on this huge, yet small piece of life which has gone missing. Have you ever seen the character on 7UP's bottle? Fido Dido, that is exactly how I looked ;) and having said that I was never depressed because I still felt good about myself and the people around me. May be it is my attitude that saved me from getting bullied or picked on by the "good-looking" people. I always felt splendid as I didn't have to think twice before I eat or read the calories per serving on everything I eat. Not that I do now, but just saying! And weirdly, I never felt like going to a gym or working out to put some mass on; just like I ignore warming up before I play.

I don't know why I was smitten by the act of hitting the gym after I came to Lawrence, but it had become a part of my daily lineup, later in 2010. To avoid being a typical workout newbie,  I avoided the mirrors in the gym so that I can get the job done and get out. I hate gaping myself at the mirror for hours together but I couldn't escape the wrath of this monster who came into Madhuri's bedroom in August 2010. I'm not very good in dimensions but it was half the size of the Table-tennis table. It was hung in such a fashion that anybody passing by that room canot resist looking at themselves in the mirror.

It all started with random sojourns and soon I realized I started admiring those tiny little curvaceous bumps on those once-decumbent arms. I very well knew that I was not building that fast but the mirror has been serving as the Smoke and Mirror in my life and was showing me what I was not. Even though, I knew that I was looking at the fabricated me, I was feeling good about myself which kept me motivated to go to the gym, come rain or shine. It was aberrant, but it was my friend because it was doing no harm, rather it was doing good by propelling my determination.

I gradually befriended it and made my stop overs count. I shared my muses with Madhuri but she smiled it away considering it to be kiddish. Last month, I had to sell it away to someone as Madhuri moved out and it was too huge to be carried along with me.  Even after she left, I have been working out but never did anything motivate me as much as it did. Now I have noone who could tell me how well the dumbbells have been working one me. I still eat, play, workout and sleep but nothing feels as good as it tickled my inner, falser but bigger me ;)

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A letter of probe

Dear Dr. Manmohan Singh,

I am Vishnu Kamisetty, a 26 year old citizen of the Republic of India who is smitten by grief, seeing Mumbai bleeding through its roots. I was one of those numerous people who read and circulated those emails which read 'Most eligible Prime Minister' and had all your achievements listed. I believed in you so much that whenever someone criticized you of not commenting on several issues or not taking actions against the fraudulent cabinet ministers, I laughed at the people for their ignorance. But today, I sense that I am one among those fools who still believe in your capabilities.

While I write the next few lines, I still understand that you are in a 'Easier said than done' position. I was really glad when you accepted to serve the country as the Prime Minister because I was under the delusion that a person of your caliber, a personality of your experience and a scholar of your abilities could mould the future of this nation. Time and again, there have been flaws in the administration and I, just like several fellow citizens, vindicated those assuming that we have a better day ahead. Today, I stand in a day of agony, holding none other than you responsible for it.

Why You? Just as a parent is responsible for safeguarding his / her family, you are the one we turn to if we have any problems. I'm growing apprehensive day after day, about my family, friends and colleagues across India. For that matter, I'm concerned about my future too. No one would like to closely follow the scrolling news to see if their dear ones are alive or not. Innocent lives are being lost at the cost of your negligence. Had you pressurized on getting leads from Ajmal Kasab's case or had you devoted some amount of the scandalized resources towards National security, we would have saved atleast a few lives if not all.

I totally understand how valuable human life is and so should several others, for everyone of us to live in harmony. If they don't, it is our responsibility to scourge the wrong-doers. How long do you plan on feeding Ajmal Kasab and keep him alive? I reluctantly think that a few lives could have been saved if there was action taken on him. Do you need someone to pierce through your heart and walk away to remind you that you are hapless? These words might be spears of anguish but they come after they have been patiently tamed for several years. You'd know what I'm talking if you walk in the streets without any security ties. How would you feel, yes that is how secure an average Indian citizen feels.

I do not want to be just another person who criticizes the government, I want you feel responsible and take action. If a small group of dysfunctional heads can target a huge nation like us, how should a 64 year old Democratic, Secular and Socialist Sovereignty react to them? What would you do if some vandal hurts someone in your family? I don't know about you but I'd rather die striking back teaching them a lesson so that they don't hurt anyone else rather than consoling myself to get compromised with the situation. It is not just you that should feel guilty for all this, all your cabinet ministers who have been busy nourishing their bank accounts from the scammed money and all the indirect leaders who have been affecting the functioning of the government ought to feel guilty.

With all due respect, I believe that you'll live up to our expectations.

Thank you,
Vishnu Kamisetty.

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Who is D.K. Bose?

Ever since I watched the promo, I wanted to see what the song was all about and after I saw the movie, I wonder who is D.K. Bose and why is he running.

Is it Shiney Ahuja running after his maid servants or is it Swamy Nithyananda running after his female devotees?
Is it Anna and Co., running after the Lok Pal bill or is it Baba Ramdev fleeing from his camp in a Salwar kameez?
Is it Rahul Dravid running and scoring elegantly in Test Cricket or Sania mirza running hard to exit from the 2nd round of Wimbledon?
Is it our Honorable Prime Minister running away from the media avoiding facing questions or is it the media itself running after useless coverage.
Is it the Telangana leaders who are trying hard to make the best profits out of the worst situations or is it the  other group of politicians competing to gather in Tihar jail?
Is it Julian Assange trying to save Wikileaks from falling into the hands of the faulty governments or is it the common man revolting against Anarchies?
Is it the U.S Navy seals who were chasing Osama or is it the Indian Govt. who are still hunting for leads on the 26/11 attacks?
Is it the Delhi women who are trying to save themselves from getting abused or is it someone warning the Bachelors from getting hitched?
Or, or, or, may be it is just me trying to run away from Kansas.

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Bollywood Rewind

In 1970's we ousted America as the largest producer of films and secured the name Bollywood and ever since we have been producing films to be a part of the rat race. Some of them churned money, some earned awards and a few spread awareness while most of them gave birth to a new culture. As the saying goes, Life is not a movie, they initially directed movies to show people what they always dreamt in their life and their little amusements. Then they kept producing, re-producing and finally de-producing such films. We are now at a stage where we appreciate movies that are much closer to real life, you don't think so? Why was "Page 3" acclaimed?

Since its inception, Bollywood has been through several transformations. I know when people say Change is Good, but is it really? In this case, I'm puzzled! Also, they say Old is Gold. But again, I don't completely agree. I was not present in the 70s nor did I watch all the movies that were ever produced. But I think I have watched enough movies, significantly more than the normalcy, to do the judgement. Lawrence, KS makes me search for all kinds of scummy movies to avoid dawdling and over the past few days I was wondering, is this how screwed up the industry is?

I remember my dad making me watch movies like Yarana and Sholay while I was growing up and we enjoyed it passionately. I wonder what the kids of next generation get to watch with their dads - Dostana? Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag? or some movie in which Akshay Kumar is still a hero doing stunts? Thanks to technology, we are atleast able to secure the prints of those Good Old movies.

And don't even get me started on the songs, which are the spices of our cuisine called Bollywood. Gone are the days of Ghazals, sweet lyrics and shayaris; All we are left with is 'Hard Kaur'ed music and dhin chak dhin chak beats. The other day, I was listening to this song, Char Bhaj gaye hein and was thinking to compose my own song. It is easy pals, grab some Homophones and put it at the end of each stanza. Make a khichdi by using some cool hippy words like rock, disco, party, chick as the fillers and boom, you are a rockstar right  there. I do, I really do enjoy that song and that is what baffled me - what the heck is happening? The other day, I was listening to radio online and Iheard this song Karma is a bitch and the song was stuck in my head for the whole day - not a good sign for Monday morning, is it? They also have this new strategy of bringing in non-Indian singers like Snoop Dogg, Lady Gaga and Akon to compose Bollywood Music; don't you think it is something like Pizza Kolhapuri or Kashmiri Lasagna?

Much unlike the yester years, the beauties cannot do the acting and the "Actresses" are not considered beautiful, so we pretty much have to make a choice. Back then they had beauties like Helen perform the item songs. Now, lead heroines have to compete for those numbers. And they compensate their unmatchable dancing skills with skimpier clothes. However, some actors did take dance seriously and carried Mithun's dance steps to a completely different level. Thank God, we were not stuck with the Jumping Jack and several others of that era. But along with that, they bring their chiseled six packs which they ought to show in every song possible - yes you can call me jealous!

But whatever might be the season, somethings in bollywood never change:

• Salman Khan strips his shirt off atleast once in all his movies
• Actors still don't grow moustache until and unless the director insists and they get paid extra for that
• Akshay Kumar still does Slapstick comedy and always has stunts in his movie - irrespective of the genre 
• Kapoors and Khans still comprise a major part of the industry
• 90% of the movies are hero-oriented
• Sunny Deol can still kill 200 people in one take
• Rajeev Masand still doesn't know how to review films
• Every hero has a fan base - including Uday Chopra, Tushar kapoor, Zayed Khan and Fardeen Khan
• There'll be a fancy song in which the hero and his heroine would be on a mountain or a valley out of nowhere
• There will be a doctor or a police or a lawyer or all the three in most of the movies.

Cheers to Bollywood!

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Take that Ms. Banerjee

This post is in response to Ms. Madhuri Banerjee's 5 Guys every woman should have. I was utter shocked to see a renowned and responsible journalist misconstruing a noble act of five brothers and an eternal sacrifice made by one of the noted chaste woman in Hindu mythology. Your post might have talked about the 5 guys a woman must have but mis-portraying Draupadi to be lucky and walking with a different person after every sunset makes me question your credibility. You probably have to revise your knowledge on this subject before you even think about it.

1st thing - She was shared among the five husbands because of the vow that Kunti had imposed on the five brothers. Kunti (woman) imposed it and the Pandavas (Men) abode by that, respecting their mother.  But, one has to never forget that the same scriptures mentioned Draupadi bearing just one son (Abhimanyu) with Arjuna who won her in the swayamvara. Do you know what must have gone through the mind of a woman when she is asked to share 5 husbands and the men simply fall for that vow imposed on them by another woman? You wanted to support your non-sensical post about a woman having 5 men in her life before she gets settled with one, quoting the example of Draupadi? - Can anyone get more foolish than that?

As far as your post is concerned, there are men who fit in all the 5 categories you mentioned, PERFECTLY! Stop fooling yourself and come out of the virtual world called self-denial. The man who can treat you like a woman is standing right next to you, kissing you good night every single night and tugging you safe into the blanket every day. This coin called Relationship has another facet as well, if you ever wanted to flip it. You named just 5 types of guys a woman should be with, I can start counting on the different types of woman a man must be with before he settles with one and the counter never stops.

Did you ever read this phrase:

Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri;

Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha;

Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri;

Satkarma Nari, Kuladharma Pathni

It is a verse from Neethisaram, in praise of women! It clearly classifies every aspect of how a woman should be and people like you wouldn't understand because you think you are much ahead of the philosophy and ethics in life. Do you think, making Chick Flicks or authoring posts like these make you sound Uber cool? You may well be cool but would never master the Art of being a Woman. There is difference in living life and leading life and neither you nor people who admire your post / work would understand that. It is way out of your league!

And yes, I forgot to throw some light on the contrasting side, the >5 types of women that men should have 

1. A girl who doesn't have a lot of expectations from him. 

2. A woman who doesn't nag about everything all the time

3. A woman who can let him be at peace

4. A woman with lesser mood swings

5. A woman who can cook well and feed him, sometimes if not daily

6. A woman who can let him be himself

7. A woman who allows him to talk without thinking twice

8. A woman who is unselfish and not over protective

9. A woman who doesn't pester him to talk out everything

10. A women who can understand that Men don't enjoy Window shopping

I can keep writing all day, but I feel that it is a mere waste spending more time to revert back to you. I have other useful things to do in life. I am glad I don't have as many complaints about women in my life as you do (about men in your life)! 

Adieu!

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