Pride and Prejudice

The "About Me" question in the networking sites is like the "Tell me about yourself" question that I'm usually asked in the job interviews. While I'm being watched and judged in both the situations; I take pride in one and prejudiced about the other. Did you ever speculate within yourself about why you sport contrasting shams at every point in life? I always wondered!

When a couple comes into a restaurant and orders an alcoholic drink, why do I always give it to the guy? When I see my friend getting married, why do I shake hands with the groom while I join my hands and wish Namaste to the bride? Is this because of the stipulated allocation of 33% of resources or am I camouflaging my conservative nature under the "My Respect for Women" cloak?

I am all praise for Anna Hazare for fasting and standing up for a strong cause but what was I doing when Irom Sharmila was battling the government against AFSPA. Let the world recognize her as the World's Longest hunger striker, I rather cheer Anna let alone the fact that I don't know a dab about the Lokpal bill. When would I realize that I lost the right to comment about corruption when I am a shill myself.

I am always well informed about RGV's next movie but I don't care to know the story / name of one child who has won the Red and White bravery awards, should I feel ashamed? I pretty well did share Hrithik's new diet regime and his 6 pack display on facebook but how come I don't know the name of atleast one Vir Chakra recipient? When did this cynical gap seep into my life or am I just ignoring to not have noticed it?

I seize the opportunities on Valentines Day and Friendship Day to shower my loved ones with gifts but I never cared to know that there is something called an Airforce day, Army day and a Navy Day; like I'd do something even if I was aware of it. I'd never miss an episode of Big Boss or Kyunki but I'm dumbfounded to know about the Beating Retreat that happens once a year at the Red Fort; oh wait do I still remember that January 26th is something more than a public holiday?

I surely don't know the name of the MLA of my constituency but I'm all praise about Barrack Obama. I am a huge Manchester United's fan even though I don't play the game but have I ever heard of East Bengal or Mohun Bagan? Oh wait, I am the same person who criticizes the Sports ministry for not allocating resources towards sports other than cricket.

I always feel like a socialist but never act like one! I talk about population growth and its endless problems but I never considered the option of adopting a child and spreading the word. For that matter, I can't even adopt a pet. All my childhood, I portrayed Mahatma Gandhi on stage but I was never asked to mimic Bhagat Singh or Subhash Chandra Bose. Why didn't I ever take pain to know that Lal Bahadur Shastri-ji was born on the same day as Gandhi-ji?

Now, do I have to take pride in the self-proclaimed noble person I believe I am (for being a non-violent, self-esteemed, fanatic patriot) or should I realize that it is high time for me to judge myself about my prejudiced inner self? May be you can help me because I was talking about you too!

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Posted in: Favo's,India,Persona

'NRI'volution

5 and a half years of watching people of different ages, in different situations and of different lifestyles; I had to seek inspiration from Mr. Darwin to render my theory about the subjects of my faction - 'NRI'volution.

Over the past 2 decades, the number of  "International Aliens" from India has been tremendously growing and the whole "culture shock" process doesn't seem to be a concern anymore. I believe, In the process of getting accustomed, every NRI traverses through one or more of these phases during their journey; voluntarily or involuntarily.

Phase 1:

• Staring at everything and everyone, this is something that every Indian goes through (Remember? staring at every person boarding the bus or peeping into houses / windows while you pass or glancing at everyone who looks slightly indifferent)
• If it is a guy, every white girl looks beautiful to him (as one of my friend terms it - A 'Speed Breaker')
• Every dollar spent is converted into rupees
• "If it were in India" is your favorite line for the next few months
• Frequency of catching up with friends / family back home - atleast once a week
• Walmart and Kohls are the places of Awe
• Taking pictures and sharing them is your latest hobby
• Shopping at Aeropostale and Old Navy IS a big deal
• You take pride in twisting your tongue while speaking English so that people understand you
• Taco bell and Mc Donalds are the only restaurants you know

Phase 2:

• Hi transforms into Hey, Curd becomes Yogurt and the first words out of your mouth are "Whats up!"
• Hip-hop is the new cult
• Your pants go down your waist by an inch or two and you are not worried about your innerwear showing out
• You are past Aeropostale and like it at American Eagle
• Attitude is your new language
• Trip to India is the next thing on the calendar
• Parties on Friday nights is your slogan and pubs are your entertainment hubs
• Hitting the bed at early hours and waking up at noon is the trending regime and you are proud of it
• You visit deals2buy and sister websites atleast once a week

Phase 3:

• Poker is the new religion
• Cricket's out and Football (American) is in
• You are more concerned about fitness than you ever were
• Photography is the new found passion
• Smart phones and Expensive cars are the latest prides
• Hollister and A&F are the only brands that fit you
• You prefer watching sports to playing and if  you are playing something it is on X-box / Wii
• Sporting Hair / beard is your new style quotient
• Green Card is the next thing on your bucket list
• The new jinx is heading back home versus making this your home
• You are more active in political matters or debating about national progress and social causes, on facebook!
• You bring in the accent while talking to desis too

Phase 4:

• Teaching your mother tongue to your kids seems impossible, which is your major concern - keeping the traditional spirits alive is important!
• All the long lasting ties tend to start disappearing
• Golf is your new found love
• You tip well at restaurants, now!
• Worrying about the accent is long gone
• Stocks is the new language you speak
• Desis are boring, you choose to live in a hideout
• Lazyboys, Plasma TVs, Backyards and Minivans are new possessions
• Suddenly, Whole Foods is what you feed on.
• Decaf and Diet Coke are the staple sips
• 
  

Phase 5:

• You travel in nothing but business class
• You are more concerned about your district's mayor than the Prime Minister of India
• You are just happy that your bride / groom is a desi
• You are probably the most cultured desis on the foreign lands
• 90% chances are that you are a doctor / own a restaurant / run a motel
• All your donations go towards spiritual institutions
• If it is not home or office, it is temple.

But whatever we do and wherever we are, one must remember that; "Once an Indian, Always an Indian!"

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Posted in: India,NRI,U.S.A

The ever-enduring Anecdote

As he changes flights across different airports over the past couple of days, VK recalls the reminiscences of the his first journey overseas. August 3rd of 2006, in his life, will be a date that he'd never forget. VK, just like many others in his class, was not too sure of what he wanted to do after he graduated from college and decides to take the momentous choice of most of the Engineers manufactured in Hyderabad.

Just like several others, it was the first time VK was taking a flight to a different destination and just like a thousand others, he was the first in his family to visit the US of America. VK started getting stuff together as the date of his next big step in life neared, bids the final byes to the earnests and still does what he is best at; introspection! "Is this what I really want to do? How different would I be, after I go there? Am I ever coming back?" was the only track on VK's mind despite the fast nearing leap.

Considering the 64 limit on the luggage, VK tried to pack every useless thing that he thought was sensible which included Vim Supreme bar, Rin detergent and the gas stove lighter. Yet, the dude overloaded with some extra stuff and could sneak in through the luggage check in point with the help of influential contacts, which as you know, very well works in India! All the hugging and kissing ceremony was past the security gates and VK entered the terminal dragging the not-so-light cabin baggage, for the first time in his life.

He had to go through the security check point 3 times before VK was clear of everything, as he planned to stuff a few more things in his 8 pocketed cargo pants which could not fit into the over-weight bags. Not sure of what a boarding pass was and unmindful of the distinction between an itinerary and a receipt, VK saved every document that was given to him. While he gets the notification of the first flight getting delayed, VK had no clue of what his next step had to be. Concern-less, he laid there, lost in a world of aimless gaze.

Finally, the moment ticked, when he boarded the enormous, good for nothing and an antiquated flight run by Air India. A saree clad "aunty" rushes towards his seat and questions: "Whose bag is this?" In a spooky voice, VK replies "Mine". "Do you think this is an RTC bus", she asks - the bag was not fit in properly in the cabin; so he casually left it like that (This incident makes him laugh even today :) ). The next thing that VK remembers was looking at the window as he was about to experience his first leap into the sky and then he fell asleep. When he opened his eyes, VK was in London!

VK never knew when the food was served, nor he knew who was sitting beside him. Sloppily, he got up from his seat, walked towards the restroom and realizes that he opened a wrong door, turned the other side and realized that this one is equally small. Not too sure of how to operate the latch, not very keen on using the Western style commode; VK managed to finish the ritual and get back to his seat. Twiddling with the bulky bags, VK finally reached Norfolk airport. The much helpful ISA's volunteers figured out where he was, despite his lousy miscommunication and showed VK, a place to sleep.

The wonderful students already living there, complained about his unbearable odor and advised him to take a shower very politely. He used one of their phones and informed his family and friends that he reached safely and hit the bed. VK woke up after 14 hours and found everything as different as he could ever imagine. He couldn't eat anything at home as no one cooked during weekends and he was reluctant to buy food from outside as he was still in the phase of  Dollar to Rupee conversion. Three days later, he had the food that he was longing for and then the struggle for jobs on-campus start.

And then, life moved on .....

Ever since then, VK always tried his best to help every student that he could and fed every student that he hosted.

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Posted in: India,Persona,U.S.A