The Smoke and Mirror that is no more

If you know how I used to look 4 years ago, you would definitely follow my grief on this huge, yet small piece of life which has gone missing. Have you ever seen the character on 7UP's bottle? Fido Dido, that is exactly how I looked ;) and having said that I was never depressed because I still felt good about myself and the people around me. May be it is my attitude that saved me from getting bullied or picked on by the "good-looking" people. I always felt splendid as I didn't have to think twice before I eat or read the calories per serving on everything I eat. Not that I do now, but just saying! And weirdly, I never felt like going to a gym or working out to put some mass on; just like I ignore warming up before I play.

I don't know why I was smitten by the act of hitting the gym after I came to Lawrence, but it had become a part of my daily lineup, later in 2010. To avoid being a typical workout newbie,  I avoided the mirrors in the gym so that I can get the job done and get out. I hate gaping myself at the mirror for hours together but I couldn't escape the wrath of this monster who came into Madhuri's bedroom in August 2010. I'm not very good in dimensions but it was half the size of the Table-tennis table. It was hung in such a fashion that anybody passing by that room canot resist looking at themselves in the mirror.

It all started with random sojourns and soon I realized I started admiring those tiny little curvaceous bumps on those once-decumbent arms. I very well knew that I was not building that fast but the mirror has been serving as the Smoke and Mirror in my life and was showing me what I was not. Even though, I knew that I was looking at the fabricated me, I was feeling good about myself which kept me motivated to go to the gym, come rain or shine. It was aberrant, but it was my friend because it was doing no harm, rather it was doing good by propelling my determination.

I gradually befriended it and made my stop overs count. I shared my muses with Madhuri but she smiled it away considering it to be kiddish. Last month, I had to sell it away to someone as Madhuri moved out and it was too huge to be carried along with me.  Even after she left, I have been working out but never did anything motivate me as much as it did. Now I have noone who could tell me how well the dumbbells have been working one me. I still eat, play, workout and sleep but nothing feels as good as it tickled my inner, falser but bigger me ;)