Rants, Raves and Ramblings of a Doer

Irrational Male Homophobia

Thursday, March 18, 2010 Posted by Vishnu 3 comments
"Do not put your arm over another man's shoulder!", the first word of caution that I got on the day that I stepped on this LAND OF OPPORTUNITIES! Ever since, I kept observing people (both desis and videsis) and their perspectives on this. Just as everyone else, I adapted myself to all the surprising  unwritten rules of the society. Initially, I was laughing at the different ways people try to limit themselves to a particular group of entities (living beings / interests / whatever..).

Baba Ranchod das Chanchad said ... "Be an American while in America". I tried being the same by keeping some of my friends at a distance while talking or not allowing them to walk closer to me. I remember insisting Keral, my friend, not to lay his arms on my shoulder when he was new to this deviant regulations. At first, I missed India, I was so used to hang around with my friends and somehow I had this strange feeling of warmth when someone puts his arm on my shoulder (It used to give me a sense of feeling that person actually cares for me).

One day, in the downtown of Lawrence, Kansas ... I found two guys belonging to a particular sect, roaming around hand in hand. Just like anyone else ... I was staring at them and that is when I realized that I was not being ME. I discerned that it is high time I roll back all the impositions on me and I cursed myself for practicing Americanism (which I'm not!). I realized that I was imposing the baseless myths upon myself. I sensed that I was scaring away the real ME who used to love the gesture of roaming around with friends (Guys). All the myths seemed absolutely meaningless to me.

Have a girl in you group when there are more than three guys hanging out
Do not wear pink , light blue and all the other color restrictions (These colors are better than hanging naked, ain't it?)
Refer guys as Buddies if they are your friends and Girls as Friends
Wow .... this list doesn't seem to end


And then I decided to protest this attitude by sporting all the colors that suit me, irrespective of the color (pink, blue or rainbow colors). I actualized my decision when one day a person at my workplace commented about my pant. She was trying to tell me that black jeans are meant for GAYS and she was wondering why was I wearing Black colored Jeans (She knows that I have a girlfriend). I had to accost her remark saying that "All that you need to wear a jeans is a pair of legs and I have them". It does not make sense to me to live by the rules framed by someone whom I don't know, in certain aspects.