'NRI'volution

5 and a half years of watching people of different ages, in different situations and of different lifestyles; I had to seek inspiration from Mr. Darwin to render my theory about the subjects of my faction - 'NRI'volution.

Over the past 2 decades, the number of  "International Aliens" from India has been tremendously growing and the whole "culture shock" process doesn't seem to be a concern anymore. I believe, In the process of getting accustomed, every NRI traverses through one or more of these phases during their journey; voluntarily or involuntarily.

Phase 1:

• Staring at everything and everyone, this is something that every Indian goes through (Remember? staring at every person boarding the bus or peeping into houses / windows while you pass or glancing at everyone who looks slightly indifferent)
• If it is a guy, every white girl looks beautiful to him (as one of my friend terms it - A 'Speed Breaker')
• Every dollar spent is converted into rupees
• "If it were in India" is your favorite line for the next few months
• Frequency of catching up with friends / family back home - atleast once a week
• Walmart and Kohls are the places of Awe
• Taking pictures and sharing them is your latest hobby
• Shopping at Aeropostale and Old Navy IS a big deal
• You take pride in twisting your tongue while speaking English so that people understand you
• Taco bell and Mc Donalds are the only restaurants you know

Phase 2:

• Hi transforms into Hey, Curd becomes Yogurt and the first words out of your mouth are "Whats up!"
• Hip-hop is the new cult
• Your pants go down your waist by an inch or two and you are not worried about your innerwear showing out
• You are past Aeropostale and like it at American Eagle
• Attitude is your new language
• Trip to India is the next thing on the calendar
• Parties on Friday nights is your slogan and pubs are your entertainment hubs
• Hitting the bed at early hours and waking up at noon is the trending regime and you are proud of it
• You visit deals2buy and sister websites atleast once a week

Phase 3:

• Poker is the new religion
• Cricket's out and Football (American) is in
• You are more concerned about fitness than you ever were
• Photography is the new found passion
• Smart phones and Expensive cars are the latest prides
• Hollister and A&F are the only brands that fit you
• You prefer watching sports to playing and if  you are playing something it is on X-box / Wii
• Sporting Hair / beard is your new style quotient
• Green Card is the next thing on your bucket list
• The new jinx is heading back home versus making this your home
• You are more active in political matters or debating about national progress and social causes, on facebook!
• You bring in the accent while talking to desis too

Phase 4:

• Teaching your mother tongue to your kids seems impossible, which is your major concern - keeping the traditional spirits alive is important!
• All the long lasting ties tend to start disappearing
• Golf is your new found love
• You tip well at restaurants, now!
• Worrying about the accent is long gone
• Stocks is the new language you speak
• Desis are boring, you choose to live in a hideout
• Lazyboys, Plasma TVs, Backyards and Minivans are new possessions
• Suddenly, Whole Foods is what you feed on.
• Decaf and Diet Coke are the staple sips
• 
  

Phase 5:

• You travel in nothing but business class
• You are more concerned about your district's mayor than the Prime Minister of India
• You are just happy that your bride / groom is a desi
• You are probably the most cultured desis on the foreign lands
• 90% chances are that you are a doctor / own a restaurant / run a motel
• All your donations go towards spiritual institutions
• If it is not home or office, it is temple.

But whatever we do and wherever we are, one must remember that; "Once an Indian, Always an Indian!"