Oblivion of the Y Chromosome

Every year, on the 8th of March, I call my mother to wish her a Happy Birthday and she asks me instead - Are you going to wish me a Happy Women's Day? My answer is always a No. Well, sort of!

The first time I learned of Women's Day, I went with the flow. I bought her gifts, wished her and made her feel special. After a few years, I wondered when was the last time my dad asked for something like that. I then fished around to see if any man I knew wished to be keen about things like these. A quick peep into the social network behavior patterns revealed that men tend to be more concerned with Women's day rather than advocating something similar for themselves.

The next quest was to find out if there was a dedicated calendar date for such a thing. Guess what? There is - it is called the "International Men's Day". November 19th was decided to be the day when the world is supposed to be "celebrating" it. I wasn't surprised when I didn't see any advertisements or advocations about that day. Because a man's emotions are always a nuance that are often blind-sided.

So, I began to wonder. What do you do on a day like this?

Valentines Day - you gift flowers
Mothers Day - You praise your mom for raising you and maybe take her out for a nice dinner
Women's Day - Repeat above and include wife
Thanksgiving Day - you eat turkey
Environment Day - You plant a tree / clean your community (do you?) - another topic for another day
Yoga Day - Do yoga, duh!
Father's day - Change your profile picture on facebook
Men's Day- ?

I had an answer. Do nothing. Just let him do his thing. Don't conquer the TV remote, don't ask him what is he thinking about, don't nag - just for a day. It means so much to us men. They perhaps might not enjoy the solitude for a full day and might skip their "celebration".

 If you think this is too trivial and we don't need a  day to honor men in our lives. Here's a short  masterpiece for you:

 If you are a child: Hug him
 If you are a parent: Give him some extra love
 If you are a wife: Well, you know!
 If you are a friend: Be thankful
 If you are a man yourself: Don't brush it off. New  age feminists are on the rise.


 How I celebrated? A nice game of soccer,  awesome Malaysian food, basketball, Deadpool  and my night succumbed to an episode of Sex and the City. See! I'm not joking, blind sides are never portrayed to their true sense.

Happy International Men's Day ya'll!

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Your's truly, Ep-2

Hi,

It's me again. You know me; We have someone / something in common - your parents? your cousins? your friends? I don't know. I know I own you, I feel superior, I feel itchy and the line that you think I jump is a little dot to me. Simply put, my life is a narrative of any of the negative characters from any daily serial . I am a well trained assassin of your Peace of mind. I specialize in Envy, majored in Gripe and hold a doctorate in Collation.

I'm never alone, because I recruit people constantly. My tongue was cursed / gifted, so I can blurt out any non-sense and I know you'll keep shut because of your societal limitations. You always wish you're not seen with your girl friend, not by your immediate family; but me. You secretly wished that my neighbor's maternal aunt's distant cousin's girl friend was dead because she was your yard stick. I butt into almost every decision you or your parents make:

• Which major to choose
• Which school to attend
• What clothes to wear
• How to walk
• What to eat
• If you should wear those jeans above the waistline
• Who to date, who to marry - Why and Why not
•  Your sexual orientation, yes I decide!

The best part of my life is you are bound to this, you can't escape.

You can't ignore me - I Bitch
You can't fight me - I manipulate
You can't accept me - You have self-esteem, I don't
You can't share with me - I Stereotype, Opinionate & Judge!
You can't conceal anything from me either - My C(Curiosity) chromosome is deep

I don't know squat about Indian history but I think your skirt is against the Indian culture. My son does not have a stable job but I'm keen to know how much you earn. I point out at your nuances in your lifestyle with my murky judgemental fingers. I never bothered to aid you when you were in serious distress but I own the right to be miffed for not being invited to your wedding.

I can't understand that if I don't have anything nice to say, I can shut up! I'm very sorry that I'm an intricate part of your life and you can't do much about it.

Your's truly,
Your Nosy Neighbor / Resentful Relative / Judgemental "Friend"

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One for the game

There were days when I used to kick the ball back and forth against a white concrete wall just by myself, because everyone else was either busy attending classes or yapping with their girl friends in the cafeteria. There were also those days  where I encountered people who preferred watching and talking about the sport than actually play it and I was still there, kicking the ball against the concrete wall. It is one thing to be known for what you are and another thing to be known for what you do. I'm glad I've always been known for my love for Football.

I've been nick-named several things, called out different names while on the field but one particular incident today propels me to draft this post. During the weekly pickup game today, one player talks to another.

Player 1:  Hey, What is your name?
Other guy: Alan
Player 1: You play awesome, turns to me and asks "Did you know his name is Alan?"
Me: Off course, we play every week. (He's an awesome attacking mid-fielder)
Alan: Do you know what his name is? (Pointing out to me)
Player 1: No
Alan: I call him Dante, you know Brazilian defender Dante? He is tall, big, fit, fast and an excellent defender and I like him.
Me: ~Iqbal moment~

While on field, I hear different things.

Dude, you are longer than October
Please don't go forward, you're a beast in defense
Where in the hell did you come from? (Most common, when I steal the ball from the attacker)
Do you get tired at all?

But what happened yesterday put me on a cloud.

Football gave me the best friends I ever had, awesome roommates, an ever lasting tan and an irritating Keral. If it was not for the love of it, it'd have been laying aside like one of my many part-time hobbies (Photography, Djembe, Vedic astrology to name a few). As of today, I feel super lucky that I'm able to find time, health and fitness to get out and play and I wish this continues for the rest of my life. Cheers to the sport, all the wonderful memories I have of it so far, the friends I made on fields and the opponents who made me walk tall.

Hon'ble mentions:

• The Mrs.- For not being a constant attention seeker 
• The Father - For saying "I'm surprised you chose to play football and not cricket unlike most of the kids from your generation", when I came out of the closet and asked to be joined in the summer camp for Football ;) (Also, my love for the game is genetic. I once overheard my father telling my mom that he was a goalie when he was a kid)
• The Amigo - For calling me Dante!

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Welcome home

A good friend once told me "Your life would change once you bring a dog home". I always thought why she said so and wondered if she was exaggerating. 14 months into our lives, as much as I never imagined, you brought immense amount of happiness into our lives. A lot of reading gave me an impression that having a pet gets one used to having a child. I now understand what they base their explications on.

Out of everyone, there was one person who was the most amazed at my decision of bringing you home - ME. There were two voices inside my head battling with each other and all I hoped was for the decision to be a right one. While the friends and family were pleasantly surprised, I stood by my decision of the new found affection for you.

You mirror my behavior sometimes and you edify some ways of life through your muted actions. You stand as a perfect example for Love that is unconditional  and have taught me how pure can it be. While we all grow up to be more materialistic and narrow-minded you just grow up to be more lovable not just by us but by everyone who knows you. You have taught us how not to pay heed to someone who doesn't bother to bond, explaining the importance of self-respect. And when it comes to loving someone back,you set the bar really high. You've met the best of cynophobics, some who ended up befriending you and you ignored the rest.

Your mischievous attitude, unending energy levels, voracious appetite give me a feeling that there is someone else in the home who is just like me. As much trouble you have given us in raising you, you have given us more pleasure every evening at home. The chases, the wrestling, the mischief, the fetches, the play-dates; everything has been an experience in itself.

For whatever it is, there is not one day I have regretted my decision. Thanks for being an awesome company, a noble being, a classified example and an inspiration for me to blog again. For people who think I'm making a big deal of having a pet, Yes, I am! I'd reiterate the same ~ "Bring a dog home, it'll change your life forever"

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Your's truly, Ep-1

Everyone knows me.

I am the most famous celebrity ever. I am looked at every day by everyone; some look at me with dissent while some roll their eyes and sigh "Someday". Though I face the brunt from a lot of people for just being myself, I digest all the curses for a selfless reason.

When I don't grow in age, it could be a problem but when people grow in age, it is a definite problem. People complain about me, rave about me, crib about me and I don't say a word. The few exclusions in my life, the people who showcase PDA towards me -  the one's with the magic chisels. People shop, mostly to conceal me or flaunt me. 

In most cases I take credit for all the subscriptions to fitness centers and health clubs and several as-seen-on-tv products. I also take some credit for up-keeping the economy at all times with people's obsession with me and all the dollars spent on my shopping. I am the reason for most of the tabloids and the reason hot chicks show up on the front covers of several magazines (You are welcome!).

The people who know me, take good care of me. While a few of them don't care about me, some like to think they don't care about me but spend several hours thinking about me and working for me.  

I am to you, what you are to me!

Your's truly,

Your Belly.

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