Yeh Dil Maange more

• I was a kid, I wanted to ride my father's scooter
• I was young, I wanted a bike for myself

• I was in college, I wanted football shoes (studs)
• I was about to graduate, I wanted to earn money so that I can spend it with no bounds
• I graduated from college, I wanted to run away from my past for a while
• I was into University, I wanted to be a leader
• I was Graduating from University, wanted my degree to be useful (Academic Project)
• I was 23, I wanted a Girl Friend
• I graduated, I wanted a job
• I had loans, I wanted a full-time & well paid job
• I am a Database Administrator, NOW I want to interview people for other jobs.

This journey of wanting something at every stage of life has helped me achieve it. I can't think of anything that I missed out on, other than #2. And I'm sure the list keeps growing with my unquenched and random desires.

I'm not aimless but ambitious. I'm not egoistic but have an attitude. I do not seek pride but enjoy recognition. If you know what I mean! 

Wow, my impromptu abilities are taking a spark. :)

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Relationships vs Expectaions

Motivated by the writings of one of my friends on her wall.

root cause of all frustrations in life is expecting something from another person....let it be happiness, honesty, fidelity, etc......

I've always believed in this but never tried to rub my thoughts on anyone. I was just thinking how a person models himself / herself per the society. You expect your friend to call you back after you call him once, you expect your friend to understand you when you are in distress, you expect someone else to clean up your mess and you expect someone to come change the political system.

When one's expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have - Stephen Hawking!

With expectations come dejections, followed by suppressed emotions and then ultimately leading to frustrations. Finally, it boils down to blame game on who didn't live upto whose expectations. It starts at a petty issue, grows to an argument and ends at hostility. Some people would be able to comprehend on what leads to the all the mess while some feel good crying out to the assumed guilts.

A teacher has expectations on a student, Parents have expectations from their children, Girls expect a lot from their boy friends / husbands and a citizen has expectations on the leaders and everyone of us expects a lot to happen out of destiny. All these times, I had this simple question on my mind. Why raise expectations and feel dejected while you can shrug all this and make the other person feel the same. :)

Another side of this coin would be to forgo the disappointments while still building up expectation on people or situations. This is what I do, A piece of free advice.

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Take a Bow! Maa

Friday Morning, after I park my car, I had to walk uphill for about 10 mins to go to work. I was planning to redial to my home to continue the conversation on the phone with my mom (I love calling her AMMA) which ended a couple of minutes before that, due to some inconsistent wireless connection. My dad who wasn't present during my previous call had just arrived and learnt from my mother that I got this new job offer where I wouldn't be earning much.

I didn't anticipate much appreciation from my dad for cracking the 2 interviews to get this offer  past some 40 qualified applicants. This was based on my previous experiences on my accomplishments. As soon as he got the chance to talk to me, he said "Mom just told me about your new job offer. They are paying you very less, Aren't they?" For a quick second I was taken aback as the kiddo inside me was waiting for a pat on my shoulder instead of a question like this. More faster, I gained back my normal senses and replied to my dad that I have not yet accepted the offer as it was not a reasonable one and the discussion extended.

After 9 minutes of talk, I was almost about to enter my office and my mom hinted to my dad that he had to congratulate me first and my dad did! Now, that brings a smile! :) (I'll tell you what brings this smile in my next paragraph). My mom grabs the phone real quick, smiles for a second or two (You know you can hear the smiles of your dear ones, even though you can't see them), then says, "This good news is just like raining in Hot Sun!" (It is bad summer in Hyderabad).

That smile was not because of my accomplishment being recognized by my dad but because of my moms gesture. She really knew how the kid inside me has to be handled. I always felt that I'm a grown up and for that moment I didn't feel shy calling myself a kid. :). (After all, as my mom says, "Dilli ki Raju aina ... Thalli ki kodukuve - "You are still a mamma's boy, even if you are an Emperor"). She made sure that I was not feeling low at the end of the conversation and I'm sure she does it to everyone in the family. I was just amazed at the way they strike the balance in the family, the way they understand our emotions and the way they make us feel secure.

This post is dedicated all the moms including my mother, Madhu and Lakshmi Aunty who have been taking care of me as their son. I owe big time to all the ladies to who took care of me, which is an endless list and Take my Bow!

After all this happened, I never felt bad that my dad didn't applaud in the beginning. I felt good that he was thinking beyond the scenes about the consequences so that I'm safe and Happy. Dad, the next post is coming your way! :)

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The Dearth of a HOME

Every living being including birds and mammals need a shelter to make their 'living' existing. Even the cuckoo which does not build a nest lays its eggs in the nests of other birds and the snake seizes the ant hills for its dwelling. All these natural occurrences signify the universal fact that you are the KING of your own home when you actually have a home for yourself. Imagine yourself living as a tenant and I bet you would definitely feel the difference when you are living in your owned property.

Doesn't it give the confidence that it is YOURS? Could your family or relatives come and support you personally when you are living far away across the seas?

Somehow I feel that most of the losses that the Deccan Chargers have faced this season could be accounted for the above mentioned reason. The Dearth of a HOME!

I was watching the game between RCB and DC which was held in Bangalore the other day. Every single ball, I heard the cheers 'RCB', 'RCB'! Even the batsman on the pitch couldn't hear what the non-striker was saying. Somehow, I felt that having a home ground would have helped the Chargers to win a couple of matches. It is not just the field conditions that contribute to the team victory but the fan factor is the main thing that boosts the morale of a player on the field. Well, the case is completely different if Sachin is batting, he would get applauds from every corner of the world ;)

All this started with the Telangana Agitation; it is high time that the government takes some decision on this. I congratulate all the activists in this significant accomplishment. 1st you drive all the corporate investors out, next is the turn for tourists. Doing all this, we might still be able to secure a separate state and ensure that the younger generation do not face the current problems but choosing violent options, we are also responsible for halting the progress of the state each day.

I then came across this wonderful campaign by the Hyderabadis, I loved the way they portrayed their love for the game; imagine someone calling off a Bandh for snatching IPL from Hyderabad! There was this article which supported my view :).

Those who are under the impression that T-state agitation is not the reason for IPL snub. On alighter note, I found this amusing video :P

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Irrational Male Homophobia

"Do not put your arm over another man's shoulder!", the first word of caution that I got on the day that I stepped on this LAND OF OPPORTUNITIES! Ever since, I kept observing people (both desis and videsis) and their perspectives on this. Just as everyone else, I adapted myself to all the surprising  unwritten rules of the society. Initially, I was laughing at the different ways people try to limit themselves to a particular group of entities (living beings / interests / whatever..).

Baba Ranchod das Chanchad said ... "Be an American while in America". I tried being the same by keeping some of my friends at a distance while talking or not allowing them to walk closer to me. I remember insisting Keral, my friend, not to lay his arms on my shoulder when he was new to this deviant regulations. At first, I missed India, I was so used to hang around with my friends and somehow I had this strange feeling of warmth when someone puts his arm on my shoulder (It used to give me a sense of feeling that person actually cares for me).

One day, in the downtown of Lawrence, Kansas ... I found two guys belonging to a particular sect, roaming around hand in hand. Just like anyone else ... I was staring at them and that is when I realized that I was not being ME. I discerned that it is high time I roll back all the impositions on me and I cursed myself for practicing Americanism (which I'm not!). I realized that I was imposing the baseless myths upon myself. I sensed that I was scaring away the real ME who used to love the gesture of roaming around with friends (Guys). All the myths seemed absolutely meaningless to me.

Have a girl in you group when there are more than three guys hanging out

Do not wear pink , light blue and all the other color restrictions (These colors are better than hanging naked, ain't it?)

Refer guys as Buddies if they are your friends and Girls as Friends

Wow .... this list doesn't seem to end


And then I decided to protest this attitude by sporting all the colors that suit me, irrespective of the color (pink, blue or rainbow colors). I actualized my decision when one day a person at my workplace commented about my pant. She was trying to tell me that black jeans are meant for GAYS and she was wondering why was I wearing Black colored Jeans (She knows that I have a girlfriend). I had to accost her remark saying that "All that you need to wear a jeans is a pair of legs and I have them". It does not make sense to me to live by the rules framed by someone whom I don't know, in certain aspects.

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Tit-Bits

Banging my head on the desk right now, to thwart the Jet Lag off my mind. This struggle has been going on for the past couple of hours. My very  sympathetic boss guessed this in the morning and said "I am sure you would be having jet lag and I will not expect any productive work from you today". With such zero relentlessness, it becomes even more difficult for me to shed it off and I am trying blogging to do that part for me.

I just came back from India after a short trip of 3 weeks. Life in those 3 weeks was like a Digital Equalizer for me (sometimes refreshing and sometimes gloomy). A few snippets on the situations in India and Hyderabad in specific (Might serve as a musing corner for those who haven't been home since long).

First things first, every morning I wake up with a pre-decided food menu on my mind for the rest of the day. I draft the same to my mom and she fed me like a li'll kid. I should say I lived life king-size in this aspect. Most of my friends being in the U.S, I had spent most of the time with family unlike the last time.

Hyderabad has changed so much,

• More and more number of flyovers
• Increased traffic  -> Increased pollution
• Drastic increase in the number of apartment complexes
• About 100% price rise on almost everything
• Roadside Beggars have stopped taking 1 Rupee coins
• Every Kirana store is now an authorized dealer for prepaid calling cards and everyone including rag pickers have cell phones and sometimes high-end ones.
•  Most of the playgrounds vanished and gully cricket is still alive.
• A couple of big  malls in the city, very big ones.
• Night life is awesome now, even at 2.00 AM the roads are busy and hotels are crowded.
• If the politicians are bored, they call for a 'bandh' which has become quite casual of late. 

Overall, one might face a culture shock if they are visiting Hyderabad after a log time. 

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