I believed it would be hard for my family to fund my petty expenses after harboring my worthless EAMCET rank. So, I adapted to the virtue of earning while learning to accommodate my voracious appetite for food, friends, and accessories. However, earning and learning were mutually exclusive. This way, I was able to satisfy my ego and also shun away the feeling of being accountable.
Unlike a typical student, tutoring was never my first choice; for I was not a great student myself. I did many unconventional jobs which paid me decent by the day, decent enough to fund my own
bike. After a while, I also did the dreadful tutoring (God save the kids I tutored!) hoping that I'll ride my bike sooner. All this had to be done covertly for I didn't want my "Middle-class" parents to think of me as the 90s hero carrying the family burden on his shoulders.
Very soon after I started earning, I was ready with my savings and so was my Visa with its air ticket. Realizing that I don't have enough time to buy and enjoy my ride, I spent all the money I earned (Ah, the joys of spending with nothing to care about!). During all these days, I never had the urge to save my first penny / rupee to remark something. I was just keeping myself busy in the few hours of free time I had for myself and money just happened to me.
Things set off differently when I laid my foot in the "Land of Opportunities". Conceding the FOB tendency of rupee to dollar conversion, I was not very comfortable spending the money anymore. Moreover, the fact that I was the last one in my batch to secure an on-campus job didn't alleviate that feeling either. After much persistence and persuasion, I landed up with an on-campus job which was barely enough to meet my living expenses. Being an "International alien", I had to wait for a long time before the DHS approved me of my legal presence and I started to work agreeing to take retroactive pay once everything gets settled.
In the meantime, with all the hectic course work and staying connected with family and friends, I lost track of how much I worked and my expenses (I was just living off my loan). On one of the night shifts, the manager walks upto me and places a perforated envelope on my desk. I tore it along the edges in a latent thought and a smile filled with pride ran from ear to ear. It was just a desk assistant job but the immense amount of pleasure I had looking at it, was priceless.I immediately reached out to the phone in my pocket and snapped a photo of the check so that it lives digitally forever. I then walked straight to the bank, deposited the money into my account with great pride, at this point the teller was trying to figure out why a drowsily looking brown guy was hesitantly trying to flirt with her. And then I danced my way home singing in my head "Hum ho gaye kamyab / We shall overcome"
Just like everything else I narrated above, the next few incidents happened with zero control over my mind. I opened a gift delivery services website, ordered Ray-Ban aviator for the person who always admired its style but never dared the luxury to own one, a gift cheque of 2000 Rs from Chandana Bros for my mother because I'm a guy and I didn't know what more can a mother appreciate than a gift cheque to buy a saree of her choice and a huge pack of chocolates for my brother whose wish list is always bigger than any of my paychecks ever.
I closed the laptop and went to sleep in content. I have earned before, spent before and gifted before but for some reason this feeling was out of the world. Maybe because it remarked the beginning of a new chapter in my life but I lived that moment. I would love to write how my family received their gifts but then it would be a TV serial with episodes that would never end. The next morning I woke up to realize that I used up all the money which was actually my next month's rent, and thus I started my life at Grad school.
Cheers!
