Your's truly, Ep-2

Hi,

It's me again. You know me; We have someone / something in common - your parents? your cousins? your friends? I don't know. I know I own you, I feel superior, I feel itchy and the line that you think I jump is a little dot to me. Simply put, my life is a narrative of any of the negative characters from any daily serial . I am a well trained assassin of your Peace of mind. I specialize in Envy, majored in Gripe and hold a doctorate in Collation.

I'm never alone, because I recruit people constantly. My tongue was cursed / gifted, so I can blurt out any non-sense and I know you'll keep shut because of your societal limitations. You always wish you're not seen with your girl friend, not by your immediate family; but me. You secretly wished that my neighbor's maternal aunt's distant cousin's girl friend was dead because she was your yard stick. I butt into almost every decision you or your parents make:

• Which major to choose
• Which school to attend
• What clothes to wear
• How to walk
• What to eat
• If you should wear those jeans above the waistline
• Who to date, who to marry - Why and Why not
•  Your sexual orientation, yes I decide!

The best part of my life is you are bound to this, you can't escape.

You can't ignore me - I Bitch
You can't fight me - I manipulate
You can't accept me - You have self-esteem, I don't
You can't share with me - I Stereotype, Opinionate & Judge!
You can't conceal anything from me either - My C(Curiosity) chromosome is deep

I don't know squat about Indian history but I think your skirt is against the Indian culture. My son does not have a stable job but I'm keen to know how much you earn. I point out at your nuances in your lifestyle with my murky judgemental fingers. I never bothered to aid you when you were in serious distress but I own the right to be miffed for not being invited to your wedding.

I can't understand that if I don't have anything nice to say, I can shut up! I'm very sorry that I'm an intricate part of your life and you can't do much about it.

Your's truly,
Your Nosy Neighbor / Resentful Relative / Judgemental "Friend"

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One for the game

There were days when I used to kick the ball back and forth against a white concrete wall just by myself, because everyone else was either busy attending classes or yapping with their girl friends in the cafeteria. There were also those days  where I encountered people who preferred watching and talking about the sport than actually play it and I was still there, kicking the ball against the concrete wall. It is one thing to be known for what you are and another thing to be known for what you do. I'm glad I've always been known for my love for Football.

I've been nick-named several things, called out different names while on the field but one particular incident today propels me to draft this post. During the weekly pickup game today, one player talks to another.

Player 1:  Hey, What is your name?
Other guy: Alan
Player 1: You play awesome, turns to me and asks "Did you know his name is Alan?"
Me: Off course, we play every week. (He's an awesome attacking mid-fielder)
Alan: Do you know what his name is? (Pointing out to me)
Player 1: No
Alan: I call him Dante, you know Brazilian defender Dante? He is tall, big, fit, fast and an excellent defender and I like him.
Me: ~Iqbal moment~

While on field, I hear different things.

Dude, you are longer than October
Please don't go forward, you're a beast in defense
Where in the hell did you come from? (Most common, when I steal the ball from the attacker)
Do you get tired at all?

But what happened yesterday put me on a cloud.

Football gave me the best friends I ever had, awesome roommates, an ever lasting tan and an irritating Keral. If it was not for the love of it, it'd have been laying aside like one of my many part-time hobbies (Photography, Djembe, Vedic astrology to name a few). As of today, I feel super lucky that I'm able to find time, health and fitness to get out and play and I wish this continues for the rest of my life. Cheers to the sport, all the wonderful memories I have of it so far, the friends I made on fields and the opponents who made me walk tall.

Hon'ble mentions:

• The Mrs.- For not being a constant attention seeker 
• The Father - For saying "I'm surprised you chose to play football and not cricket unlike most of the kids from your generation", when I came out of the closet and asked to be joined in the summer camp for Football ;) (Also, my love for the game is genetic. I once overheard my father telling my mom that he was a goalie when he was a kid)
• The Amigo - For calling me Dante!

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Welcome home

A good friend once told me "Your life would change once you bring a dog home". I always thought why she said so and wondered if she was exaggerating. 14 months into our lives, as much as I never imagined, you brought immense amount of happiness into our lives. A lot of reading gave me an impression that having a pet gets one used to having a child. I now understand what they base their explications on.

Out of everyone, there was one person who was the most amazed at my decision of bringing you home - ME. There were two voices inside my head battling with each other and all I hoped was for the decision to be a right one. While the friends and family were pleasantly surprised, I stood by my decision of the new found affection for you.

You mirror my behavior sometimes and you edify some ways of life through your muted actions. You stand as a perfect example for Love that is unconditional  and have taught me how pure can it be. While we all grow up to be more materialistic and narrow-minded you just grow up to be more lovable not just by us but by everyone who knows you. You have taught us how not to pay heed to someone who doesn't bother to bond, explaining the importance of self-respect. And when it comes to loving someone back,you set the bar really high. You've met the best of cynophobics, some who ended up befriending you and you ignored the rest.

Your mischievous attitude, unending energy levels, voracious appetite give me a feeling that there is someone else in the home who is just like me. As much trouble you have given us in raising you, you have given us more pleasure every evening at home. The chases, the wrestling, the mischief, the fetches, the play-dates; everything has been an experience in itself.

For whatever it is, there is not one day I have regretted my decision. Thanks for being an awesome company, a noble being, a classified example and an inspiration for me to blog again. For people who think I'm making a big deal of having a pet, Yes, I am! I'd reiterate the same ~ "Bring a dog home, it'll change your life forever"

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Your's truly, Ep-1

Everyone knows me.

I am the most famous celebrity ever. I am looked at every day by everyone; some look at me with dissent while some roll their eyes and sigh "Someday". Though I face the brunt from a lot of people for just being myself, I digest all the curses for a selfless reason.

When I don't grow in age, it could be a problem but when people grow in age, it is a definite problem. People complain about me, rave about me, crib about me and I don't say a word. The few exclusions in my life, the people who showcase PDA towards me -  the one's with the magic chisels. People shop, mostly to conceal me or flaunt me. 

In most cases I take credit for all the subscriptions to fitness centers and health clubs and several as-seen-on-tv products. I also take some credit for up-keeping the economy at all times with people's obsession with me and all the dollars spent on my shopping. I am the reason for most of the tabloids and the reason hot chicks show up on the front covers of several magazines (You are welcome!).

The people who know me, take good care of me. While a few of them don't care about me, some like to think they don't care about me but spend several hours thinking about me and working for me.  

I am to you, what you are to me!

Your's truly,

Your Belly.

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The first Cheque

I believed it would be hard for my family to fund my petty expenses after harboring my worthless EAMCET rank. So, I adapted to the virtue of earning while learning to accommodate my voracious appetite for food, friends, and accessories. However, earning and learning were mutually exclusive. This way, I was able to satisfy my ego and also shun away the feeling of being accountable.

Unlike a typical student, tutoring was never my first choice; for I was not a great student myself. I did many unconventional jobs which paid me decent by the day, decent enough to fund my own bike. After a while, I also did the dreadful tutoring (God save the kids I tutored!) hoping that I'll ride my bike sooner. All this had to be done covertly for I didn't want my "Middle-class" parents to think of me as the 90s hero carrying the family burden on his shoulders.

Very soon after I started earning, I was ready with my savings and so was my Visa with its air ticket. Realizing that I don't have enough time to buy and enjoy my ride, I spent all the money I earned (Ah, the joys of spending with nothing to care about!). During all these days, I never had the urge to save my first penny / rupee to remark something. I was just keeping myself busy in the few hours of free time I had for myself and money just happened to me.

Things set off differently when I laid my foot in the "Land of Opportunities". Conceding the FOB tendency of rupee to dollar conversion, I was not very comfortable spending the money anymore. Moreover, the fact that I was the last one in my batch to secure an on-campus job didn't alleviate that feeling either. After much persistence and persuasion, I landed up with an on-campus job which was barely enough to meet my living expenses. Being an "International alien", I had to wait for a long time before the DHS approved me of my legal presence and I started to work agreeing to take retroactive pay once everything gets settled.

In the meantime, with all the hectic course work and staying connected with family and friends, I lost track of how much I worked and my expenses (I was just living off my loan). On one of the night shifts, the manager walks upto me and places a perforated envelope on my desk. I tore it along the edges in a latent thought and a smile filled with pride ran from ear to ear. It was just a desk assistant job but the immense amount of pleasure I had looking at it, was priceless.I immediately reached out to the phone in my pocket and snapped a photo of the check so that it lives digitally forever. I then walked straight to the bank, deposited the money into my account with great pride, at this point the teller was trying to figure out why a drowsily looking brown guy was hesitantly trying to flirt with her. And then I danced my way home singing in my head "Hum ho gaye kamyab / We shall overcome"

Just like everything else I narrated above, the next few incidents happened with zero control over my mind. I opened a gift delivery services website, ordered Ray-Ban aviator for the person who always admired its style but never dared the luxury to own one, a gift cheque of 2000 Rs from Chandana Bros for my mother because I'm a guy and I didn't know what more can a mother appreciate than a gift cheque to buy a saree of her choice and a huge pack of chocolates for my brother whose wish list is always bigger than any of my paychecks ever.

I closed the laptop and went to sleep in content. I have earned before, spent before and gifted before but for some reason this feeling was out of the world. Maybe because it remarked the beginning of a new chapter in my life but I lived that moment. I would love to write how my family received their gifts but then it would be a TV serial with episodes that would never end. The next morning I woke up to realize that I used up all the money which was actually my next month's rent, and thus I started my life at Grad school.

Cheers!

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